The Bible makes no apologies for the amount of weight that it puts on the husband to be the spiritual leader of his family. Ephesians tells us that the husband is to love his wife like Christ loves the church.
The husband is the pastor of the home.
Your wife and children will be your greatest disciples. The wife will submit to the husband to the degree that he is submitted to Jesus. The husband should care more about the spiritual growth and sanctification of his wife and children more than he does his friends or extended family.
The husband needs to be honest with his wife. She should be his best friend. She should know more about his likes and dislikes, his struggles, his dreams and ambitions more than the guys he watches football with on Saturday afternoons. The husband should know his wife. What does she like and dislike? What are her struggles? What are her dreams and ambitions? What are you praying for with her?
Whether you know this or not, she needs you to lead your family and push them to Jesus. She needs to know that you care about her relationship with Jesus and your children’s relationship with Jesus.
This is more important then:
- how much money you make
- how big your house is
- how packed your 401K is
- where you are going on vacation
- how many cars you have
- the amount of stuff you own
Your wife and children need to know that the only person you love more than them is Jesus. The greatest danger to your family is believing the lie that life is about the pursuit of the American dream.
It’s really not.
Life is about Jesus. It always has and always will be about Jesus.
The reason you are alive
The reason you live where you live
The reason you work where you work
The reason you are married
The reason you have children
It’s all about Jesus.
Do your children know that you love Jesus? Children can figure stuff out before the age of two. They can tell if you are lying to them. Push your children to Jesus. It does not matter if they get angry. It does not matter if they cuss you out or say they hate you. Push them to Jesus.
Let’s look at some practical ways to put this into practice.
Read a book with your wife. Here are a few that I would recommend:
Real Marriage by Mark and Grace Driscoll
Desiring God by John Piper
The Explicit Gospel by Matt Chandler
Doctrine by Mark Driscoll
Think by John Piper
Encourage your wife to journal and commit to pray with and for her.
Let’s not leave out your children.
Read Bible stories with your children. It is important that your children see you read the Bible. Start now instilling values that you want your children to carry with them.
Pray with your children…not just at the table.
Spend time with your children talking about Jesus.
Don’t forget. Enjoy your family.
Play with them.
Laugh with them.
Spend time with them.
You (husband) are the pastor of your home. Shepherd your family well.