The Church Should Lead By Example

Pic from Flickr by AaeJay

Divorce is a sad event in today’s society. According to statistics, half of all marriages end in divorce. Another tragic statistic is that half of all marriages in the church also end in divorce. God’s people should not be involved in such things as divorce. The church should be setting the example of how marriages are supposed to work. Men are called to love their wives as Christ loves the church. This could also be stated that to the degree that a husband is submissive to Christ, the wife will be submissive to her husband.

There needs to be more emphasis on discipleship in our churches. Once a person becomes a Christian, they should strive to find all their passion, desire, meaning, identity, significance, and satisfaction in the almighty, holy God. Divorce would not happen as often if people were taught how to truly be disciples of Jesus Christ.

Matthew 22:37-39 says, “And he said to him, ‘You shall love the Lord your God with all your heart and with all your soul and with all your mind. This is the great and first commandment. And a second is like it: You shall love your neighbor as yourself.’”[1] How can a person that loves God divorce their spouse? They cannot unless they have a misconstrued view of God. God loves people in a way that they cannot possibly fully understand. God loves people regardless of what they have done. People sin against God and God forgives them. God sent Jesus to this world to die a horrible death on the cross so that all people might have the ability to enter into a relationship with him.

People have sinned against God far more and far worse than anything anyone has done to them. One problem that leads to divorce is that people marry for what they can gain from a marriage and not what they can give to a marriage. A person that enters into a marriage with this mindset has not fully died to himself or herself. A covenant marriage relationship is an example of how Jesus loves the church. Ephesians 5:25 says, “Husbands, love your wives, as Christ loved the church and gave himself up for her.”[2] How does Jesus love the church? Sacrificially.

If a husband does not love his wife in this manner, his relationship with God is not right. A husband and wife need to fall in love with God first. When their relationship with God begins to blossom, they learn how to love each other.

People also need to learn what a covenant is. Marriage is a covenant not a contract. A covenant is a bond that binds two people together and the bond can only be broken by death. Divorce does not fit into this picture. People should not enter into a marriage without realizing what a covenant is and they need to have a right relationship with God. I love my wife. I am thankful that God gave this gift to me. I could not love my wife unless I first loved God and understood what love is. Love is not a bubbly feeling and it does not cause one to have “butterflies” in their stomach. Love is an action.

I show that I love my wife by things I do with her and for her. Our marriage has taught me that there is no room for self.  When the church realizes how much God loves them and they realize that when they love God, they cannot help but love their spouse and love others, divorce will be closer to being a thing of the past in our churches. What a glorious day that will be!  r

Pray for people to fall in love with God so that may rekindle the flame that once burned bright in their marriage. This is a much needed prayer in our churches.

[1]    Unless otherwise specified, the ESV version of the Bible is used.

[2]    ESV version

Lee Lumley
Lee Lumley

Great post thanks for speaking the truth.


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