Have you ever thought yourself to be bulletproof? You know what I mean, people’s comments and stabbing words bounce off of you like bullets do Superman.
I did. I honestly thought that I was immune to insecurity. I have recently found out that I am not.
I would laugh at the idea of doubting, fear and so on. Secretly, I was just running from the truth. The longer that I did not admit this fear, the further I ran. All the while it was costing me. It was killing me on the inside.
Life has its ups and downs and curveballs and knuckleballs. I had to own up to the fact that I was insecure and needed God’s help to overcome it.
I am a pastor/church planter. Our current church need is a place to meet where we can grow. We especially need a place for kids. Banks do not want to loan us money because they do not want to invest in a church that is less than five years old.
We just recently celebrated our second anniversary.
Doubt and fear used to team up and jump me. When I least expected it, my thoughts would sucker punch me. I never saw it coming.
My biggest fear as a pastor/church planter is standing before Jesus knowing that I failed in completing the mission and vision that He had given me.
That my friends is a scary thought.
I had to overcome it. How?
You kick fear square in the teeth. Trust Jesus.
I had to remember that Jesus cares more about me and my relationship with Him than He does what He gave me to accomplish.
Jesus does not want me to accomplish the mission and vision He gave me if I end up sacrificing my relationship with Him.
If you are in a similar situation, I can offer you this:
- Read your Bible
- Seek wise advice
- Talk to your pastor
Go back to that time where you remember having an intimate, personal relationship with Jesus. Ask Jesus to forgive you from your failure to trust Him and begin to cultivate that relationship again.
Pursue Jesus and you will accomplish what He called you to do because He will be with you.
You are not alone.